Selling Hot Dogs In A PC World - True Stories From The Brain-Washed Files

Remember this Jingle?:


Can you imagine the commercial playing today, in this world of POLITICAL CORRECTNESS? Don Imus might laugh at "nappy headed hos" and Jesse Jackson may make fun of "Hymies", but of course, only Imus will have trouble because of it. In fact, The Reverand Jackson was on Beck's show last night calling for his head!

Hotdogs, Armour hotdogs.

What kinds of kids love Armour hot dogs?

Fat kids, (oh! How dare you make fun of the "weight-challenged")

skinny kids, (you bastard! he can't help a little weight loss!)

kids who climb on rocks, (you're just bashing the kids who can't climb rocks!)

tough kids, (obviously from an underprivileged family! - give 'em money!)

sissy kids, (stop it! he was born with a sissy gene, you hateful person!)

even kids with chicken pox love hotdogs, (ah! leave the infirmed alone!)

Armour hot dogs, the dogs kids love to bite. (PETA WILL come calling!)

... which reminds me of a true story;

We were standing by the water cooler talking sports. Around me were 3 well educated, many "mastered" Structural Engineers discussing their respective college's football record when the subject got around to sports we played as kids. The other 3 gentlemen spoke of soccer and other things not very interesting to me, and then it was my turn. I spoke of my love for baseball and the fact that I played the game from early on, through high school. Then, I must have said something wrong! The 3 men became quiet, withdrawn, their eyes averted mine! I had apparently mentioned something "off-color". We don't use that word, one man said. What, I said, what word? We don't use the "m" word (he couldn't even say it!). I suddenly realized what he meant! I had told them about my activity in MIDGET FOOTBALL! Horrors upon horrors! I had gleefully described little tikes about 3 feet high running around in pads and helmets banging into things and falling over; a very laughable visual, in my opinion!

But, these 3 gentlemen were aghast in horror! I chuckled and began a discourse on how Chairman Mao's little red book was used on them and how they were classic, clinical examples of brain-washing; no better than Pavlov's dogs! They weren't amused for some reason and quickly broke up the festivities.

... it was then I begin to truly appreciate how our society had changed. Men had become panty-waisted, effeminate, and trained not to spit in the fan! Their unwholesome political correctness was straight out of Orwell. I was the one aghast now, and deeply concerned about our future.