Why They Don't Bungee Jump In Australia (and Florida!)

The Observer

Oh My! Too Good To Pass Up!

The Observer

Garner - Washington Times

The Observer

Garner - Washington Times

Oh! Thank goodness is wasn't that damned Poodle again! Way to go Beagles!

Garner - Washington Times : What No Energy Policy Means!

For Lady Hawk, the Teacher

These are comments made on students' report cards by teachers in our public school system.

All teachers were reprimanded, but they are still funny!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

Garner - Washington Times : The "Blind Asthmatic's" Olympics in China

Monty Python's Upper Class Twit of the Year Award

Accompanying Article

Watch The Video! : )

Garner - Washington Times

Proof That McDonalds Has Reached Africa!

NewsMax-Coulter Interview: Laughs Abound!

A Few Select Tidbits:

NewsMax: You argue that if Democrats had any brains they’d be Republicans. Given their wimpish performance on the Hill that lost them the last election, wouldn’t it be fair to ask if Republicans had any guts they’d be Republicans?

Coulter: No. Republicans are already Republicans, guts or not. “If Democrats had any brains they'd be Republicans” was my way of saying that Democrats are stupid. Some Republicans are stupid and some are gutless, but neither of these conditions have become a psychosis seizing the entire party as with the Democrats.
And by the way, I don’t mind gutless Republicans, provided they are scared of us, rather than scared of liberals. We scared them pretty good on the amnesty bill.

NewsMax: You are accused of committing “hate crimes” or using “hate speech” when you attack liberals. What is hate speech?

Coulter: “Hate speech” is telling the truth about liberals.

NewsMax: Is Communism still alive and well inside the Democratic Party?

Coulter: You tell me: Which party advocates “windfall” taxes; estate taxes; universal, government-run medicine, education and daycare; minimum wages; a maximum wage; massive wealth transference through higher income taxes; and the wearing of Che Guevara t-shirts?

NewsMax: Should Islam be seen as peaceful religion?

Coulter: Please, no “gag” questions. This is supposed to be a serious interview.

NewsMax: What do you think of the chances of Obama and John Edwards?

Coulter: I didn't realize they were dating. I guess they both have a lot of extra time now that their wives are doing the campaigning.

NewsMax: What's your opinion of Rudy Giuliani?

Coulter: I’m not sure there are enough anti-gun, pro-choice Republicans to elect him.

The GOP Field Is Like Star Trek: The Next Generation

By Steven F. Hayward - NRO - this is quite funny and quite accurate!

The other night over martinis, someone asked me which GOP presidential candidate I like the most. Like many my fellow conservatives, I’m not very enthusiastic about any of the three putative, pre-Thompson frontrunners. A mid-martini moment of insight, however, sparked the following idea: The problem with this field is that it is too much like the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

In order to see how, you’ll have to bear with me and follow the story line. The major premise of my argument is that Ronald Reagan was Captain Kirk. I know, I know, Kirk’s character was said to have been loosely modeled on JFK, but don’t forget that Reagan inherited the mantle of JFK’s Cold Warriorism (as well as JFK’s income tax cuts). The similarities, at least in these regards, make the comparison tenable.

Having grown up with Kirk (and Governor Reagan), I hated — hated — Star Trek: TNG when it came on in the 1980s. The first of many reasons for hating TNG was that they actually obeyed the stupid Prime Directive, which is the epitome of cultural relativism. Half the plot lines of the original Star Trek involved Kirk wantonly violating the Prime Directive in what constituted acts of democratic statesmanship. Recall, for example, the episode called “The Apple,” in which Kirk revels in destroying the planet’s oppressive false god Vaal, and then explains to the stupefied inhabitants that their lives are going to change: “That’s what we call freedom. You’ll like it a lot. . . You’ll learn something about men and women — the way they’re supposed to be.” (The best analysis of this topic remains Paul Cantor’s wonderful book Gilligan Unbound, especially chapter 2, “Shakespeare in the Original Klingon.”)

TNG, on the other hand, was wholly bureaucratic — it was Star Trek as imagined by the U.N. General Assembly — and Captain Jean-Luc Piccard seemed more like the U.N. Secretary General than a commander.

More to the point — — the problem with TNG was that it split Kirk’s character into three people: Piccard the authoritative but rule-abiding commander; First Officer Will Riker as the impetuous and womanizing swashbuckler, and Counselor Deanna Troi representing analytical reason and intuition. No one of them alone could effectively lead the Enterprise. The result was unwatchable. (How many times did Piccard surrender the Enterprise in that first season? Kirk would never have done that.)

This lack of sufficiency in individuals sounds very much like our GOP frontrunners. The parallels are not exact, of course, but they generally parse out in the following way: Giuliani is Piccard, with his brusque, “make-it-so” personality; McCain is the impetuous and volatile Riker; and Romney is clearly an analytical Betazoid. Each, by himself, has obvious limitations and defects, and thus appears incapable of effectively leading; combine the strengths of all three and the result would be a success.

Unfortunately, there is not yet a candidate who has effectively shown himself as just such a combination of strengths. So let’s forget about this Fred Thompson boomlet — I have a better idea. Let’s elect Captain Kirk for President. Okay, so he's Canadian, but maybe that's the excuse we need to execute Jonah Goldberg's takeover plan (from the tyrannical reign of the tyrannical editor K-Lo.

... BTW, Fred Thompson is the proverbial weak bottle rocket that fizzles fast and doesn't pop at the end. Remember Bob Dole?

Domestic Use Of Spy Satellites Widens!

Garner - Washington Times

Boy Bags Congress! - Americans Cheer!

... if only it were true! (about Congress, that is!)

Hey Whit! You're Nothing But A Nappy Headed Ho!